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It’s getting close to Thanksgiving, so I thought I’d start the celebrations early with a few turkey related tales from www.guy-sports.com. Read below for two really funny stories.
Six Legged Turkey
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding, his mission was to produce the perfect turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone.
The farmer even tried breeding turkeys with other animals. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer related to his friend Zeb the results of his latest experiment, which involved introducing octopus genes into a turkey.
‘Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has six legs!’ Said the farmer. Zeb could not resist enquiring, ‘how did the turkey meat taste?’.
‘I don’t know, ’said the farmer, ‘I haven’t caught the bird yet!’
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The Tale of the Pregnant Turkey
One year at Thanksgiving, my brothers and I were invited to my sister Jenny’s house for the traditional feast.
Knowing how gullible my sister is, we decided to play a practical joke. My two brothers lured Jenny outside to check out some trees at the bottom of the garden.
As soon as Jenny left I took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, and replaced it with a partridge. Then I replaced the bird carefully in the oven.
Later, when the turkey was cooked my sister took the bird out of the oven and when it had rested she started to carve it. Then she decided to add the stuffing. Much to her amazement she found the partridge. At this point our mother piped up, “Jenny you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!” With this Jenny started to cry.
It took my brothers and I until early evening to convince Jenny that turkeys lay eggs, and don’t give birth to live young.
If you want to read more of these fun stories head over to: http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/christmas/thanksgiving.htm
Source: http://www.petsunlimited.com/local_pet_blogs.cfm/id/1928
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Tonight one of our three finalists will dance away with the Mirrorball Trophy! Who will it be? We’ll find out – LIVE!!!!
The stars are starting with a clean slate – they have to perform three new dances each. Mya comes down the steps in an interesting getup – boy shorts and a bikini top with a long coat-looking thing. Paso Doble, I bet.
Kelly & Louis begin the dancing tonight. Kelly didn’t think she’d be able to do the show, but wanted to show people that she’d grown up. She says that the Charleston was a breakthrough for her. In practice, Carrie Ann came in to give Kelly some pointers (I guess Len isn’t spreading himself thin with all the couples this year) – and they’re starting with the Argentine Tango. She’s trying to teach Kelly to be intense but Kelly said “she made me so uncomfortable.” It looks great – her attitude is right and he dancing is pretty darn good too! It was really great – and I agree with Carrie Ann, she’s made the most of her dancing experience and really improved the most. Len says she epitomizes what the competition is about but through hard work she’s made it through to the finals. Bruno says she is the revelation of this season. He likes that she mastered the embellishments of the Argentine Tango, but complained about her hand getting loose at times. Carrie Ann offers that after seeing what she was struggling with in rehearsal, she is very proud of Kelly and likes the routine. Their scores: 9-9-8=26. Louis praises Kelly saying that she came out tonight without making a mistake, and Louis had to keep from giggling because he was so excited.
Mya & Dmitry will dance the Paso Doble (reminds me of Mel B’s outfit, I knew I thought I’d seen that before). Mya was very nervous the first night, but she loved their routine, until Len got at them. Mya knew Len would be tough, but she didn’t expect that and neither did Dmitry. She felt their big break came during the Samba (it was just because of Dmitry’s cheezy moustache!) Len came into the rehearsal to help Mya & Dmitry, saying “it’s the grumpy judge.” He wanted them to be stronger, saying Mya is too subdued. He said “So far, good has been good enough, but you have to be great now.” They’re dancing to “We Will Rock You” and it looks pretty good – but there’s not a lot of hold. Wonder if Len will chew them out for that? Wow, there are many, many alumni of DWTS in the audience, all cheering wildly as they should. Bruno liked it! “The power of Mya unleashed! Fearless, flambouyant!” Carrie Ann dubs Mya “the Queen of the Paso Doble.” Len says the pressure is immense but Mya came out like the “no stress express.” He says his favorite Paso of all the seasons was Mel B and Maks, and “this is right up there with it.”
Before we get the scores, we see a clip of Michael Ervin and Jerry Rice doing trash talking – Michael challenged Jerry to a dance-off and that will be tomorrow night. This I gotta see! Their scores come up: 10-10-10=30.
Here come Donny & Kym. Donny says that he’s been performing for 46 years and he drew on that for his opening dance, the Foxtrot, but watching the clip he yelled at himself for his posture. He decides that their Argentine Tango was his breakthrough – Kym liked the part where he ran his hand along her leg, and Donny said “that’s the sleeping on the couch part. I’m still sleeping on the couch for that one.” During their Quickstep, Donny was sick and the room was spinning but he kept smiling. Bruno comes in to help Donny & Kym, saying that Donny can win it, but he doesn’t want Donny to win it for who he is, but for his dancing. Bruno stressed Donnny’s extension of his arms and the fact that he bends a lot and needs to watch his posture. They will dance a Cha Cha, and Donny listened to Bruno, his arms look great! Donny is having great fun with this dance but it’s just not the sharpest. I really like Donny but he doesn’t deserve to win DWTS – but he does deserve a side award, like the equivalent of “Miss Congeniality” during the Miss America pageants. Carrie Ann begins by asking “where did those hips come from?” Len calls him “Ding Dong Donny” and said it was a proper Cha Cha and gives Bruno credit for his assistance. Bruno points out that Donny is a professional, saying that “I shouted at him and he just shut up and gave me no attitude” but took it to heart and worked harder. Their scores: 9-9-9=27. Samantha brings up Marie’s doll dance freestyle and I know that Marie wanted to curl up and die – no one wants to remember that fiasco!
Tom tells us that the couples will next dance side by side with the same choreography. They will dance a Viennese Waltz, Samba and Jive. They call it the “Megamix.” Nick Kosovich is the choreographer for this dance. Kelly is freaking out because Mya and Donny have dancing experience, and Nick is going really fast for her. Donny is saying that he’s a quarter of a century older than Kelly and he’s trying to do the same stuff – and Kym offers that both Mya and Kelly could be Donny’s daughters. He’s not too thrilled with that one! The couples will be scored 1, 2 or 3. The Viennse Waltz is pretty, they’re pretty much in sync. During the Samba, Kelly looks tense and forgets to have a happy face. They get right into the Jive and it’s fun! Len says that he thought it would be so easy to judge with all three couples out there, but no. “It shows how close you all are.” Bruno calls it the last hurdle – he liked Mya’s Samba, Kelly’s improvement (although he says it looked like she was going through a spin dryer for a bit) and he told Donny that at times “I thought you were one of the professionals.” Carrie Ann agreed with the guys, saying Donny was really keeping up, and Mya made her hips go “boom boom!” She loved Kelly’s grace in the Waltz. The dance will be judged 30 points for first, 28 for second, and 26 for third. Backstage, Kelly says if they’re not having fun out there, all the hard work wasn’t worth it. Donny offers that it’s bittersweet because “it’s the end.” Kelly & Louis get third, Donny & Kym get second, and Mya & Dmitry get first.
The anticipated Freestyles are next! Brooke Burke, Helio Castroneves, and Drew Lachey offer their comments on the Freestyle, saying you can’t play it safe, you have to put every trick into it, have fun, and leave it on the floor. I loved the clips of their Freestyles, especially Drew & Cheryl doing “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.” It’s still my favorite after all these years!
Tom says the Freestyle most times determines who wins the competition. Kelly & Louis are up first and her foot is killing her – she can practice in heels for about 10 minutes and has to ice it because she’s torn cartilage in her big toes. Louis shows Kelly a move where he does a handstand and puts his feet on the wall, and Kelly says “You’re out of your f***ing mind! Why am I doing that? I’m not doing that. I’ve got a skirt on, it will go over my head. That does not look graceful. I’m gonna look like a beached whale upside down.” She’s determined that she will prove that her dancing ability is good enough for her to win. At least she’s remembering to have fun, she’s really smiling great! The choreography is good but it looks, I dunno – clunky or something. She really is beaming after the dance, I feel great for her no matter how they judge her! Bruno says “one thing is for sure – you never looked more beautiful than tonight.” Carrie Ann says the Freestyle is all about seeing how far they’ve come, and Kelly is a survivor. Len says he loved it, because even through her little mistakes, but she kept singing and laughing through all of it “and I thoroughly enjoyed it.” Backstage, Kelly is still cracking up, saying that “one of the lifts looked more like Louis pooped me out.” Their scores: 8-8-8=24. That gives them a 76 for the night.
Mya & Dmitry know that they can win or lose on the Freestyle. They try and decide what they want to do and Dmitry suggests something on the order of Hairspray but Mya thinks that might be a little safe – until they start practicing. They’re actually doing some major dancing – no real tricks, one lift! I guess they’re really going for the judges’ scores. It is a really good routine but not all “that” but it is good dancing! Carrie Ann says “high energy, fun, but not outstanding to me.” Len is next, agreeing with Carrie Ann. “There was a sameness about it. I was waiting for something to happen but nothing did.” Bruno says they had all the vivacity of the era, right on the beat, but “I expected something more spectacular.” The scores are better than I thought they would get after those comments: 9-9-9=27. They have 87 for their total tonight.
So Donny & Kym can really kick some ass in their Freestyle after those scores! Donny explains that “I saw Marie” comment from last week – he says after Kym got tripped up in her dress, then he got tripped up, then he spotted Marie and saw the look on her face and it messed him up more. During rehearsal, Marie and Jonathan try to distract Donny, by blowing smoke at them and Marie yelling “look at my face!” They will do a Broadway routine, where Donny’s personality can show through. They’re practicing lifts, and during one try Kym kicks Donny in the head and says “you have to keep your head back.” Donny admits “I know that now!” He says he has to win the trophy, “Because if you had a sister named Marie and she was gonna rub it in your face for the rest of your life, you’d want to win it too.” They do great dancing and fun lifts – and Donny doesn’t get smacked in the head. Len begins by saying “that was truly an absolute show stopper.” He also adds that “judging from Bruno’s noises during the dance, he’s gonna shout so I’m going to move over.” Bruno does yell. “You’re right! Mr. Show Business at his best!” Carrie Ann brings up Drew & Cheryl and Shawn & Mark’s Freestyles, and tells Donny “welcome to the Hall of Fame, buddy!” Will they get a perfect score? 10-10-10=30. They have 85 for the night.
After the judges’ scores, here is the leaderboard:
87 – Mya & Dmitry
85 – Donny & Kym
76 – Kelly & Louis
So who wins? Yeah, Donny & Kym had the best Freestyle out of all the couples, but it still didn’t measure up to past seasons. Mya is the better dancer, but will Donny’s personality win out? Will Kelly’s hard work and earnest attitude get her the most votes? Tomorrow night, the couples dance one more dance for the judges’ votes and we’ll find out who wins the fantastic Mirrorball Trophy! And it will be LIVE!
 Blogger: Kitty LeClaw
Blog: Killer Kittens from Beyond the Grave
“A cat as black as blackest coal is out upon her midnight stroll. Her steps are soft, her walk is slow, her eyes are gold, they flash and glow. And so I run, and so I duck. I do not need her black-cat luck.”
KKFBTG is a sexy scream dream of horror hotness, chock-full of tasteful T&A and gore, movies, comics, poetry and more… a juicy blog for anyone possessing a serious taste for all things pussy gato.
What initially drew you to the horror genre?
I love the feeling of being scared. The rush of adrenaline, the pounding of the heart, the quickening of the breath–all of these are sensations which I have a profound level of appreciation for. I have never been particularly sporty, so I guess I need to get the blood pumping, somehow! I’ve always loved watching scary movies, and devoured books on the paranormal when I probably should have been reading Nancy Drew novels. It came as a complete surprise to me that not everyone shared my affinity for the things that go “bump!” in the night. I always took great pride in being the sort of kid who could outlast all her friends in a late-night horror movie marathon.
Are significant others generally freaked out or psyched by your horror proclivities?
I tend to discriminate against people (significant others included) who aren’t into horror, thus robbing them of the opportunity to discriminate against me because I am!
I guess you could say that I’m very “out” about my interests in the spooky stuff. My apartment is nowhere near child safe. It’s not even parent safe! Oh, all the unholy things my poor, Catholic parents have to see when they come for a visit! I have found that it’s not just my Mom and Dad who are a little freaked out by my horror sensibilities, but the general public, as well. The Repair Guy always has to make a rude comment before fixing the furnace…
As a rule, I don’t think that guys really like it when a girl is scarier than they are. Draw your own conclusions.
 What made you decide to blog?
I love writing, and I love horror, so joining the “Blogosfear” was a good, natural fit for me. It’s definitely a step up from the horror/mystery novel I wrote out in longhand when I was 12! I churned out notebook after notebook of a scary story that I pretty much made up as I went along. A group of my friends were reading it as I wrote, so it was really great to get feedback while still in the writing/development process. In that respect, blogging is very similar. It’s the readership and feedback that bloggers crave. Otherwise, we’d all just keep our own, private diaries.
Who is your biggest inspiration?
In terms of me becoming a depraved gore junkie, I have to give my parents full credit. Having no idea what they were getting themselves into, they fostered my love of horror from an early age. I vividly recall watching the movie CARRIE with my Mother, who thought it was strange that the jolting final scene didn’t send me sobbing into her bosom. Over the next couple of weeks, she brought home all sorts of harrowing titles, in the hopes of achieving a “normal” reaction from her young daughter. By the time we watched THE EXORCIST, it was too late to turn back. I was hooked on horror.
(For the record, The Exorcist scared the living daylights out of me. I slept with a crucifix under my pillow for weeks, and couldn’t look up at a second storey window without feeling like I was going to puke.)
 How would you best describe your blog?
My blog’s subheading is: “A kitten’s perspective on horror in film, music, art and literature,” and I think my blog provides precisely that–my perspective (meow!) Admittedly, I’m not keen enough to be hip to what’s happening in horror headlines most of the time. For the most part, I think my blog is like an esoteric ride down a slightly more demonic version of Willy Wonka’s chocolate river. I rarely plan posts in advance. I write ‘em up as I watch ‘em, and I call ‘em as I see ‘em.
I apologize to the English language for the final sentence of the above paragraph.
Bang, Marry or Kill: Freddy, Jason, Michael. Please explain your answer.
I’m only answering this question because it’s a bona fide FREDDY VS. JASON-style trivia question! I’d bang Freddy, because viciously tormenting people through their dreams is HOT. I’d marry Jason, because, of the three of them, I think he has the softest heart. I would kill Michael Myers, because it’s been a really long time since someone made a good HALLOWEEN movie, and it’s a shame, because it was once a proud continuing saga.
 Several days ago, you may recall my review of the amazing little underground zombie short film Chemical 12-D, which I so blithely referred to as “Seven Minutes of Zombie Heaven”. The flick screened a little over a week ago at the Zombie Outbreak festival in Chicago, and the buzz has been growing ever since. It’s just now wrapping up a screening at the Tromadance festival in New Mexico.
And now, I’ve gotten word from the filmmaker, Mac Eldridge of Water Cooler Productions, that Chemical 12-D is on-sale beginning today on DVD, for just a one-week period. So if your interest was piqued by my review and you’ve been curious about seeing the movie for yourself, this is your chance. I’ve gotten lots of requests from people asking to find out how they can see it–well folks, now you can.
The DVD is being sold directly from the Water Cooler Productions website, so head over there if you’re so inclined and support this very rare gem, a low-budget indy horror short that is actually very good and made at mainstream professional standards. Reportedly, the proceeds from the sale will be used to help fund the boys’ next film–which sounds like a damn worthy cause to me.
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